Gay Relationships/Marriage – What does God say?

What does God say?
Do you not know that the wicked will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: Neither the sexually immoral nor idolaters nor adulterers nor male prostitutes nor homosexual offenders nor thieves nor the greedy nor drunkards nor slanderers nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God.
(1 Corinthians 6: 9, 10)
Some time ago I had a rather deep discussion about gay relationships and gay marriage with my fellow employees. We are all Christians and none agree with gay marriage or accept homosexuality as being okay, but we had a rather heated debate as to how God feels about it. Some feel that God still loves people who are gay. Does he? If so does that mean that God will forgive them and take them to heaven when they die? Does that mean that we should allow them to be members of our Christian Churches? Should we love them and accept their lifestyle as being a good way to live? These are some very serious issues. Souls are hanging in the balance.
Let’s look first at what God says and how He feels about the “gay” issue in general? Is it good, okay or bad? Many people have mixed feelings and opinions, but God lets us know how to live and what He expects of us in His Word. The verses above from 1 Corinthians certainly tell us that He does not allow it. In fact He says that homosexuals among others will not enter the kingdom of heaven. Let’s hear what else He has to say regarding the gay lifestyle:
  • ·         Do not lie with a man as one lies with a woman; That is detestable (Leviticus 18: 22)
  • ·         If a man lies with a man as one lies with a woman, both of them have done what is detestable…(Leviticus 20:13)
  • ·         They exchanged the truth of God for a lie…Because of this, God gave them over to shameful lusts. Even their women exchanged natural relations for unnatural ones. In the same way the men also abandoned natural relations with women and were inflamed with lust for one another. Men committed indecent acts with other men…(Romans 1: 25, 26)
It sounds pretty cut and dry to me. God flat out doesn’t allow it! He did not create us that way. He created male and female to fit together perfectly not only physically, but emotionally. Sex is a wonderful and special gift created by God.  He meant for it to be a demonstration of love between a man and a woman committed to each other in marriage – the result of which would be the gift of children. It is not something to be taken lightly.
In fact God tells us that when a man and a woman come together sexually they become one person. He instituted marriage in the second chapter of Genesis where we hear Adam say; this is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called ‘woman’ for she was taken out of man. For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh (Genesis 2: 23, 24).
The problem with society in part, is that people no longer take God at His word. Rather they change the meaning of His words to make them fit their lifestyle. People seem to think that because our God is a loving God, He would not condemn anyone to hell because they are gay. Those who are gay may say; I love God. I believe that Jesus died for me. I have faith and the Bible says that we are saved by faith in Jesus. But they forget that Jesus also says; If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross and follow me…What good is it for a man to gain the whole world, yet forfeit his soul?
Many people who are gay claim that they were born that way. I believe that some people are born with physical and hormonal problems which make them feel confused as to their sexual orientation. I also believe however, that many people who are gay have become that way by choice and often as the result of life situations. 
For example; a young woman who was abused sexually or mistreated in other ways as a child by a man, may have an aversion to men as an adult and visa versa. Childhood sexual abuse and emotional and physical abuse destroys people for life. Quite often abused children grow up to become abusers themselves and/or they become homosexuals. To those who abuse children God has this to say; But if anyone causes one of these little ones who believe in me to sin, it would be better for him to have a large millstone hung around his neck and to be drowned in the depths of the sea…See that you do not look down on one of these little ones. For I tell you that their angels in heaven always see the face of my Father in heaven (Matthew 18: 6, 10,11).
The problem is that in this life we can’t have our cake and eat it too as the saying goes. Jesus tells us; no one can serve two masters. Either he will hate the one and love the other, or he will be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve both God and money (Matthew 6:24).
A person who truly loves God will not turn his back on Him to serve his sinful nature. By doing so that person is disregarding the sacrifice Jesus made for him. He is saying; I love you Jesus. Thank you for dying for me, but I can’t give up this lifestyle. I can’t live without it. How can it be wrong when it feels so right? Why can’t I do this and love you also?
You can’t do it because it is WRONG!! It is Sooooo wrong! It is against God’s law. It is a sin. We can’t go on deliberately sinning and claim that we love God. When we do so we become lovers of ourselves. We love what we want and disregard

Don’t disregard His Sacrifice!

what God wants for us and from us. If we deliberately keep on sinning after we have received the knowledge of the truth, no sacrifice for sins is left, but only a fearful expectation of judgment and of raging fire that will consume the enemies of God (Hebrews 10:26, 27). We can’t just set God aside when something we want to do doesn’t agree with His law or His will for us. When we do so we are sinning.

As a Christian counselor I have had people say to me; I know what I am doing is wrong, but I am going to do it anyway. I will just have to ask God to forgive me later. The person who makes a statement like this loves himself more than God. He is letting his sinful nature control his life. This attitude will only lead to disaster, disappointment and heartache.
So, all that being said, I would like to now answer the questions posed at the beginning of this writing.
  1. Does God love people who are gay?

The answer of course is “yes”. God loves all people. God our Savior…wants all men to be saved and to come to a knowledge of the truth(1 Timothy 2:3). God doesn’t want to see any of His people perish. He is a loving God, but He is also a just God. He does not tolerate sin. All who come to Jesus with a repentant heart are forgiven through faith. The blood of Jesus covers their sin and makes them holy in God’s sight. But when people are living in a lifestyle that God does not approve of and feel no remorse for it, they are not forgiven. If they die in that sin they will perish.

  1. Is there forgiveness for people who are gay?

There most certainly is! Anyone who comes to Jesus with a sincerely repentant heart is forgiven. Sincere repentance would be seen in a lifestyle change. If there is no change there is no forgiveness because there was never sincere repentance.

God does not give us as humans the ability to truly know another person’s heart therefore we cannot judge hearts.  We must leave that in His hands. But remember, even though a person may be able to hide his/her sin from others, nothing is hidden from God. If you are living a sinful lifestyle, no matter what that lifestyle may be, through faith and prayer, God will give you the strength and the ability to overcome your sin.
  1. Should we as Christians allow people who are gay to become members of our churches?

The answer to that is “no”. By allowing those who are openly gay to be members of our churches we are saying they are in fellowship with us. By allowing them to be in fellowship with us, we are saying that their lifestyle is okay and that we believe as they do. This is misleading and may lead others into thinking the sin of homosexuality is okay in God’s eyes.

Although we would not allow them to become members, we would welcome them to attend our church. By allowing them to attend our services we are giving the Holy Spirit the opportunity to work in their hearts through the word. Only God can change hearts. We would pray that as they hear and learn what God expects of them and of all people, they would make a positive change in their lives – a change that would honor God.
  1. Should we as Christians love those who are gay?

Yes, God wants us to love all people. We should encourage them toward a lifestyle which honors God and support any effort they make to do so. We should also pray for them.
In summary, God loves everyone including those who live the homosexual lifestyle and we should love them also, but He wants them to realize their sin. Where there is sincere repentance and visible change, there is forgiveness.
We would not knowingly allow them to be members of our churches, but we would welcome them to attend and pray that God through His word would change their hearts and motivate them to honor Him by making better lifestyle choices.
Gay marriage and gay lifestyles are detestable to God and therefore should also be detestable to all sincere Christians. Our government is wrong and going against God’s will when they allow gay marriage to be legal. Be reminded of the words of Peter; ‘We must obey God rather than men! (Acts 5:29).
As Christians we need to lovingly speak up for the truth and be an example for others. We should also pray for God to give our government officials the courage to stand up for what is good and holy, and help them to make laws which honor God and in turn benefit the people. Beyond that it is in God’s hands.
If you are close to someone who is gay, they must first be presented with the law. They need to know that their lifestyle is a sin. Once they realize their sin and repent, they should be presented with the precious life saving Gospel, the gift of God’s grace through faith in Jesus. Through repentance all are covered and washed by the blood of Jesus, and holy in God’s eyes.
If you yourself are gay, no matter what the reason, know that God loves you. He will give you the power to overcome your sin. You must deny yourself and take up your cross and follow Him. You cannot serve your sinful nature and serve God also. When you deny your sinful nature, God will give you the strength to move forward. When you put Him first He will bless you. You will be free to serve Him. You will have everything you need for this life and when your life here on earth is over and He calls you home, you will live with Him eternally in glory.
If you are one of the unfortunate people who were born with physical and/or hormonal issues which make you homosexual or unsure of your sexual orientation there is help for you. Being born with physical sexual problems is not a sin and it is not your fault. But when you as an adult act on sinful sexual preferences knowing your actions are wrong, you are sinning. Through prayer God will help you to be strong and guide you to lead a life which honors Him. Sex is not the end all in life. You can lead a happy and fulfilling life here on earth without it.
Be proud of who you are. Live your life in service to God and your fellowman. When you put God first He will bless you. He will help you to be in tune with Him and comfortable with who you are. It may not always be easy, but it can be done. And when your life here on earth is over you will receive blessings beyond measure. Don’t forfeit your soul for eternity trying to be happy in the here and now. It is not worth it.
Blessed is the man who perseveres under trial, because when he has stood the test, he will receive the crown of life that God has promised to those who love him (James 1:12).
Gloria Dei!
By Christine

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