The Truth about Sex Outside of Marriage

Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral (Hebrews 13:4)

As a counselor for young women in crisis pregnancies I have found that most of the women who come to me for help have had little or no religious upbringing. They are young adults of the “New Millennium”. They have grown up hearing about “Safe Sex” on TV. Many have parents who have never actually been married to each other. They have brothers and sisters with a different mother or father. Their family members and siblings have several different last names. They have heard about abortion since they were small children and our government says that abortion is legal, so why not?

How can a child growing up in that kind of environment possibly know that sex outside of marriage is a sin? All the people they look up to do it. How can they make the right decision for themselves and their unborn child when an unexpected pregnancy occurs because of it? Our government says it is okay to abort babies who are not wanted or who may not be born “physically perfect”.

These facts make my job as a counselor very difficult at times. The counseling center I work for is an outreach of the WELS (Wisconsin Evangelical Lutheran Synod). Our purpose is not only to save the lives of the unborn for time (the here and now), but more importantly for eternity.

It is very difficult to tell these girls that they are sinning and that they need to change their lifestyle when that is the only lifestyle they know. I try to explain to them in a loving way that this is not the way God meant for His people to live. Sex outside of marriage and unwanted children were not part of His plan for us. Rather sex was meant to be a blessing to married couples – a way for them to show their love for each other and to become one, heart and soul, with the end result being a precious child to love.

Then the Lord God made a woman from the rib he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man. The man said, “This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called woman for she was taken out of man. For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh.The man and his wife were both naked, and they felt no shame. (Genesis 2: 22-25)

Several years ago a young woman who did have a Christian background came to me for a pregnancy test. She had gone to a Lutheran school for all of her elementary years. I did not know her personally, but having had attended Lutheran schools myself my entire life; I knew she had been taught the truth. She knew what God expected of her. My exact words to her were; I know that you did not learn at St. Marks that sex outside of marriage is okay. It wasn’t a reminder she wanted to hear, but at the same time she knew I was right.

The bottom line is that young people need to hear the truth. As God’s representative it is my duty to tell them the truth. If they have grown up with the truth, then it is my duty to remind them in no uncertain terms that they are sinning. If they have not, they need to be told in a loving way what God’s will is for them. They need to know how they can change things for the better and they need help and encouragement to take the first step in the right direction.

It is a great privilege to be in a position where I am able to reach out to those who don’t know and have never been taught the truth. Many times the truth is not welcome news but at least they have been told. The rest is in the Lord’s hands. It is always my prayer that God will give them His Holy Spirit so that the seeds of faith planted in their hearts will grow and change their lives and the lives of their children, not only for time, but also for eternity.

Then we will no longer be infants, tossed back and forth by the waves, and blown here and there by every wind of teaching and by the cunning and craftiness of men in their deceitful scheming. Instead, speaking the truth in love, we will in all things grow up into him who is the Head that is Christ. (Ephesians 4:14,15)

By Kristeen – To God be the Glory!

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